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Deb Adler’s”Know Change Know Gain – a pathway to better choices” is Now Available!

1 Aug

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Want a Preview? Click on “Introduction” to read:

Introduction

Note: This Ebook is currently available in PDF format only.  More to come!

 

This book was written as an accumulation of experiences and information that continues to help me along my own personal growth evolution.  That’s right; our personal, professional, emotional and spiritual growth is ongoing. You’ve heard it before – it’s not about the destination – because every day we wake up alive, the “finish line” has been moved! It’s all about the JOURNEY.

How we perceive our environment and our lives determines whether that journey is drudgery or a joyful dance. It doesn’t matter what life challenges us with – what determines our success, our happiness, is how do we respond?

There are those who believe that change has to be hard and painful. Guess what? You’ve just defined your experience. The more you reinforce that as your truth, the more you “cement” that truth as yours. The obvious play on words here is that too often quoted belief, “no pain no gain.” Did you know that there’s evidence that the subconscious mind fails to register “negatives” (i.e. “no”). That’s why I structured the title “Know Change, Know Gain.”

Will reading this book change your life forever? Maybe. That’s always a possibility. But what if there was just one kernel of something that made a difference in how you view yourself, others, your environment, and how you can influence that to be more like what you want it to look like? Just one little morsel that you never considered before? Would it be worth it?

Here’s what I know: we are all here as a unique part of a beautiful mosaic called “Life.” Each of us is vital to the whole. My desire in sharing this book is to help one other person find ways to remove or release the obstacles they may have created or inherited from others. If we’re on the journey, we’re works in progress!

Having the life you want was never a matter of “deserving” – you exist, therefore, you deserve All Good Things – it’s a matter of how much do you want it?

 

 

©2018 Deborah Adler and Silverstream Global LLC. All rights reserved. (NOTE: ALL quotes and/or materials from other authors or sources remain the sole property of the original authors/source.)

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Sharing an “Aha!” Moment…

16 Feb

It was 10:35 am this morning and I had just finished a half-hour conference call I’m on every morning with other businesswomen from around the country.  It’s a combination coaching, accountability and prayer call. I love it!

But I’ve been feeling frustrated lately – even though I’ve been doing all the right things as far as “filling my pipeline” (making new sales contacts) and reviewing my goals each morning and night; following other “success tenants” – because I’m still not seeing results. There’s a “Slight Edge” Principle that says if you do just a few things consistently – every single day – that effort will compound over time and produce results.

But there’s a period of “doing the do” that you have to put in before you start to see the measured results come back to you. That’s where I’m at – in the middle of the new course of action. It usually takes 90 days to show results…and A LOT of people quit before they reach that point of return.

So when I got off the call, even though I love the energy and the camaraderie and the coaching, I was feeling restless. I’ve been feeling restless for a while now.

I began pacing rapidly back and forth between my kitchen and living room – which in a one-bedroom apartment is NOT a very large space!

I often pace. I pace to think. I pace to pace. I pace to calm down. I pace to ramp up. It  helps me expend energy. I pace.

I started talking aloud (as I often talk to myself).

“Restless,” I kept repeating aloud…”restless in mind…restless in body…restless in spirit… restless in soul…”

I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at the manual treadmill standing in the middle of my dining-living room.  “Well,” I thought, “if I going to do this furious pacing thing I might as well turn it into exercise and get on my treadmill!”

So I put on a lecture by Dr. Joe Dispenza, the author of Evolve Your Brain – The Science of Changing Your Mind and his newest release, Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One.

At first I had it on my computer speakers, but I couldn’t really hear it over the noise of the manual treadmill belt. So I donned my mp3 player and earplugs and mounted my treadmill for a workout – physical and mental.

I started hearing little snippets of wisdom in-between my conscious readings from the display in front of me…watching and mentally logging numbers of “how far, how many calories, how fast,” etc.

I went for a quarter mile and it felt really good – especially considering I am still dealing with a tear of the medial meniscus from a work-related injury that’s all tied up in Workman’s Comp hearings! (Part of my sense of frustration). I look a lot like Frankenstein when I walk – still – but part of my restlessness comes from knowing that I’ve been stuck too long in “injury mode.”  I realized that I need to get on with healing my leg. I followed my “walk” with some modified lifting of weights (arms) and stationary punches (I’ve REALLY missed my Tae-bo Gold Routine!).

All the while I was listening to Dr Joe’s lecture – one that I have been listening to repeatedly lately. When I finished my physical exercise I felt really good. “Exercise” had been on my days’ list of accomplishments that I had written out the night before. It felt good to have that already done.

Then I sat down and started to write. He was talking about addictions and personality – about how 95% of who we are is acquired from the influences of others, which I know from previous studies with Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha. But I got really excited when Dr Joe started talking about habits – and the definition of a habit as “when the body is the mind.”

When we feel stuck – we have to look at “what have we memorized?” What feelings and experiences have we cemented in – even though we may say we want to change? If we’re not changing it’s because we’ve hard-wired past body-mind programs which then become habits.

If we memorize (hard-wire) an emotional reaction and stay there for a few days – it becomes a “mood.”  If we prolong it further it becomes our “temperament.”  Over a prolonged period of time that temperament – “living by the same emotional reaction” over and over again turns into a personality trait – which means we’re totally living in the PAST!

THAT was my “AHA!” MOMENT!

The 12-Step Recovery Programs refer to a person’s “defects of character.”  I’ve always maintained that I am NOT defective. I am a child of God and God doesn’t make junk!

BUT then I made the connection to what Dr. Joe is talking about…and realized that the “defect” is the faulty emotional reaction that has been hard-wired in our brain based on a past experience that we haven’t been able to free ourselves from. Why?

All emotions produce chemicals in our bodies and in the brain. We can become addicted to those chemicals in the same way we have been addicted to alcohol or other drugs, food, or gambling, or sex, or any destructive behavior. We try to change but we hit a wall because, as Dr. Joe describes it, “I can’t go beyond this emotion because the chemicals are so addictive.”

We can’t go beyond the emotion because someone or something knocks us so far out of balance as to prevent us from being able to make our way back.

That’s living in the past. What is it that the recovering person has to do in order to live sober, happy and free? CLEAR AWAY THE WRECKAGE OF THE PAST! That’s where the 12 Steps come into play.

One of the greatest pitfalls I have seen in working with some alcoholics over the last 32 years is the seeming inability to let go of the guilt and shame of their past. Recovering alcoholic/addicts are reminded to remember their last drunk/usage – so that they don’t return to using. But that doesn’t mean we have to LIVE there!

We don’t have to DWELL in the past to learn from it. In order to liberate ourselves, we MUST Let It GO.

This is true for ALL of us – because our habits are hard-wired memorized emotional reactions from past experiences that no longer serve us except that we’ve become addicted to the chemicals produced by them. (And then we wonder why we keep repeating the same behavior over and over again, even though we set goals and swear off, or swear on – determined to change, yet we don’t).

Dr. Joe asks, “What emotion have you memorized – that you’re living by day after day – that you think is you? That’s not who you are…that emotion is just a record of your past experience.”

So what are “defects of character?” Memorized emotions that we think are us. But they aren’t us – they aren’t who we are – they are what we are holding onto.

So we are not bad people trying to get better – we are good people who have gotten off course. What’s “defective” is our memory of past events – of what we are holding onto – and that can be changed. It’s a choice.

To be continued!
DISCLAIMER: All the opinions expressed in any articles, blog posts and Internet content written by me are my own and do not reflect the opinions or beliefs of any individuals or organizations with whom I associate.

©2012 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: ALL quotes and/or materials from other authors or sources remain the sole property of the original authors/source.)

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One Heart Song – the Universal Connection

27 Jan

“Uni” means “one.”
“Verse” means “song.”
Therefore “Uni-verse” means “One Song.”
– Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha

Many years ago in my studies with my spiritual mentor and Elder, Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha, I learned about the Vagus Nerve, or the “tenth cranial nerve” which originates in the medulla oblongata, a part of the brain stem, and “supplies nerve fibers to the pharynx (throat), larynx (voice box), trachea (windpipe), lungs, heart, esophagus, and the intestinal tract as far as the transverse portion of the colon. The vagus nerve also brings sensory information back to the brain from the ear, tongue, pharynx, and larynx.” *

This wandering marvel connecting to the voice is also the only nerve connecting the heart and brain. Beginning in the left side of the brain, it reaches the top of the heart’s aorta as one of its better known branches, the recurrent laryngeal nerve, which then takes a return loop to connect with the right side of the voice box (larynx).

So there’s an actually physical connection between the brain and heart that can be activated and influenced through song.

Music, a form of sound, is a vibration. All vibration is energy.

If “Universe” means “One Song” and we add our voices to that song, it becomes the “Heart Song,” a song of love influencing all towards harmony.

Music is often called the Universal Language. In my travels I have personally experienced music’s ability to cut across all artificial barriers of “difference” between people – even language differences – to create a unity through singing together, or just simply sharing the enjoyment of a performance.

But to sing together is especially powerful and healing. It’s that Heart Connection. Music is a Bridge to understanding, to acceptance, to sharing joy, sorrow, Love and the full gamut of human emotions and experiences.

“What we’re all striving for is authenticity, a spirit-to-spirit connection.” – Oprah Winfrey

Sound, vibration and various forms of music can also be effective in bringing balance to the physical body, in addition to the mental and emotional state.

Whenever I have traveled with Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha, we have always begun our programs with singing. Sometimes in the many journeys taken across this grand country, the group of us traveling together would stop at a roadside rest stop or “circle up” in a department store parking lot and pull out the guitars and other instruments and start singing. It refreshed and re-energized us and as others came out of curiosity to see who were these people singing in the parking lot – it entertained and fostered new friendships.
I have many fond memories of what we lovingly referred to as our “blacktop circles.”

Everyone has a Heart Song. Tomorrow I will explore why EVERYONE should sing -even if you think you don’t have a “good voice.”

We all have a voice – and the only “bad” voice is the once that‘s been silenced!

More about that in tomorrow’s post! -Deborah Adler

“I am an old river and I have been here for too long
to know when I began, and that is not what is important.
Here and in this moment I Am here.
I am old, wiser and have found you.
You join me here in our space
and we now run together,
not you and I,
but we.”

-Pa’Ris’Ha

from Visits from Wind Voices from Times Past
© 1995 Pa’Ris’Ha All Rights Reserved.

 

©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: All quotes remain the sole property of the original authors.)

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Prisoner of the Past or Pioneer of the Future

11 Jan

“Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future”
— Deepak Chopra

I had a wonderful in-depth conversation tonight with a young woman who is new in sobriety – again. Addiction – no matter the drug of choice – is about being a prisoner of the past. Some people think it should be just a matter of will power, generally the ones who have never been addicted to anything – at least not anything lethal or socially unacceptable.

Addiction is about patterns. It’s about neuro-pathways in the brain that have become “hardwired” to respond in a certain predictable way unless something comes along to break the sequence in the brain and create new neuro-nets, or pathways, of altered behavior.

The drug of choice is merely the endpoint – it’s what the addict resorts to once the determination has been made by the brain that it needs its “fix.” In order to disobey the powerful command coming from the brain center it takes a concentrated effort. It takes determination and, in my experience, it takes activating the “Matthew Principle” as taught in the Bible. Simply put, the Matthew Principle is about having a reflection. “Wherever two or more are gathered in my name, there I am.” This is one of the foundations of recovery programs that stress fellowship as well as working in Partnership with a God of your understanding.

But the real work still lies with the individual. Fellow recovering addicts can be a support system, but each of us has to make the transition inside our own thought space: stopping destructive thoughts that lead to self-destructive behaviors and replacing those with healthier, more nourishing and nurturing choices creating new patterns of behavior that support recovery and living sober, happy and free.

We can be addicted to our misery. We can be addicted to failure, or anger, or playing the victim. All addiction has a chemical basis in the brain. Findings published by leading researchers of the relationship between the bio-chemistry of the brain and human behavior, such as Dr. Candace Pert and Joe Dispenza, D.C., have demonstrated that we, as the keepers of our Mind-Body Altar have the capability to re-direct those chemical processes by changing our thoughts and behaviors.

“It is always what is inside that determines what we experience in each situation. We are human and this is the way we evolve and mature.” – Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha

©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved.

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