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Sharing an “Aha!” Moment…

16 Feb

It was 10:35 am this morning and I had just finished a half-hour conference call I’m on every morning with other businesswomen from around the country.  It’s a combination coaching, accountability and prayer call. I love it!

But I’ve been feeling frustrated lately – even though I’ve been doing all the right things as far as “filling my pipeline” (making new sales contacts) and reviewing my goals each morning and night; following other “success tenants” – because I’m still not seeing results. There’s a “Slight Edge” Principle that says if you do just a few things consistently – every single day – that effort will compound over time and produce results.

But there’s a period of “doing the do” that you have to put in before you start to see the measured results come back to you. That’s where I’m at – in the middle of the new course of action. It usually takes 90 days to show results…and A LOT of people quit before they reach that point of return.

So when I got off the call, even though I love the energy and the camaraderie and the coaching, I was feeling restless. I’ve been feeling restless for a while now.

I began pacing rapidly back and forth between my kitchen and living room – which in a one-bedroom apartment is NOT a very large space!

I often pace. I pace to think. I pace to pace. I pace to calm down. I pace to ramp up. It  helps me expend energy. I pace.

I started talking aloud (as I often talk to myself).

“Restless,” I kept repeating aloud…”restless in mind…restless in body…restless in spirit… restless in soul…”

I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at the manual treadmill standing in the middle of my dining-living room.  “Well,” I thought, “if I going to do this furious pacing thing I might as well turn it into exercise and get on my treadmill!”

So I put on a lecture by Dr. Joe Dispenza, the author of Evolve Your Brain – The Science of Changing Your Mind and his newest release, Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One.

At first I had it on my computer speakers, but I couldn’t really hear it over the noise of the manual treadmill belt. So I donned my mp3 player and earplugs and mounted my treadmill for a workout – physical and mental.

I started hearing little snippets of wisdom in-between my conscious readings from the display in front of me…watching and mentally logging numbers of “how far, how many calories, how fast,” etc.

I went for a quarter mile and it felt really good – especially considering I am still dealing with a tear of the medial meniscus from a work-related injury that’s all tied up in Workman’s Comp hearings! (Part of my sense of frustration). I look a lot like Frankenstein when I walk – still – but part of my restlessness comes from knowing that I’ve been stuck too long in “injury mode.”  I realized that I need to get on with healing my leg. I followed my “walk” with some modified lifting of weights (arms) and stationary punches (I’ve REALLY missed my Tae-bo Gold Routine!).

All the while I was listening to Dr Joe’s lecture – one that I have been listening to repeatedly lately. When I finished my physical exercise I felt really good. “Exercise” had been on my days’ list of accomplishments that I had written out the night before. It felt good to have that already done.

Then I sat down and started to write. He was talking about addictions and personality – about how 95% of who we are is acquired from the influences of others, which I know from previous studies with Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha. But I got really excited when Dr Joe started talking about habits – and the definition of a habit as “when the body is the mind.”

When we feel stuck – we have to look at “what have we memorized?” What feelings and experiences have we cemented in – even though we may say we want to change? If we’re not changing it’s because we’ve hard-wired past body-mind programs which then become habits.

If we memorize (hard-wire) an emotional reaction and stay there for a few days – it becomes a “mood.”  If we prolong it further it becomes our “temperament.”  Over a prolonged period of time that temperament – “living by the same emotional reaction” over and over again turns into a personality trait – which means we’re totally living in the PAST!

THAT was my “AHA!” MOMENT!

The 12-Step Recovery Programs refer to a person’s “defects of character.”  I’ve always maintained that I am NOT defective. I am a child of God and God doesn’t make junk!

BUT then I made the connection to what Dr. Joe is talking about…and realized that the “defect” is the faulty emotional reaction that has been hard-wired in our brain based on a past experience that we haven’t been able to free ourselves from. Why?

All emotions produce chemicals in our bodies and in the brain. We can become addicted to those chemicals in the same way we have been addicted to alcohol or other drugs, food, or gambling, or sex, or any destructive behavior. We try to change but we hit a wall because, as Dr. Joe describes it, “I can’t go beyond this emotion because the chemicals are so addictive.”

We can’t go beyond the emotion because someone or something knocks us so far out of balance as to prevent us from being able to make our way back.

That’s living in the past. What is it that the recovering person has to do in order to live sober, happy and free? CLEAR AWAY THE WRECKAGE OF THE PAST! That’s where the 12 Steps come into play.

One of the greatest pitfalls I have seen in working with some alcoholics over the last 32 years is the seeming inability to let go of the guilt and shame of their past. Recovering alcoholic/addicts are reminded to remember their last drunk/usage – so that they don’t return to using. But that doesn’t mean we have to LIVE there!

We don’t have to DWELL in the past to learn from it. In order to liberate ourselves, we MUST Let It GO.

This is true for ALL of us – because our habits are hard-wired memorized emotional reactions from past experiences that no longer serve us except that we’ve become addicted to the chemicals produced by them. (And then we wonder why we keep repeating the same behavior over and over again, even though we set goals and swear off, or swear on – determined to change, yet we don’t).

Dr. Joe asks, “What emotion have you memorized – that you’re living by day after day – that you think is you? That’s not who you are…that emotion is just a record of your past experience.”

So what are “defects of character?” Memorized emotions that we think are us. But they aren’t us – they aren’t who we are – they are what we are holding onto.

So we are not bad people trying to get better – we are good people who have gotten off course. What’s “defective” is our memory of past events – of what we are holding onto – and that can be changed. It’s a choice.

To be continued!
DISCLAIMER: All the opinions expressed in any articles, blog posts and Internet content written by me are my own and do not reflect the opinions or beliefs of any individuals or organizations with whom I associate.

©2012 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: ALL quotes and/or materials from other authors or sources remain the sole property of the original authors/source.)

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Going With the Flow

15 Jun

Personal Review: Journaled the desired outcome last night of an important meeting scheduled for today. Had some surprises along the way to the actual time of the meeting but stayed positive and refused to give in to defeatist thinking. Business Partner picked me up – just a tad late – and we were off to the designated place of meeting!

I sent a quick text off to my prospect, a friend, to let him know we were on the way. Then came the call in response. A crisis had developed presenting a fire that he had to put out. Very apologetic. Promised to call later. We turned around and came back.

As I walked into my apartment building, I weighed the events in terms of my personal desires. Then I started to consider the developments in terms of my friend’s dilemma and what it could mean in terms of some very important programs for which he was trying to get support.

Then it came to me. A very clear picture presented itself of how I might really be of service to this gentleman and provide him an alternative means of achieving his lofty goals. I clearly saw how I could be of service to him.

I shot off a quick text, knowing he would be on his way to a committee meeting, thanking him for his communication and letting him know that I hoped we would have the chance to speak or meet later as he had suggested in our brief conversation. Then I let him know that regardless of how things went this evening, I believed I had a solution.

I realized that I held an answer that might provide my friend a key to salvaging an otherwise dismal and potentially catastrophic development, affecting thousands of people who were depending on help from his programs. I filled with an appreciation of how all things work together for the ultimate good. I envisioned a scenario that strengthened his position and created an autonomy for his programs.

In his book, Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life; Living the Wisdom of the Tao, Dr. Wayne Dyer speaks about “rearranging priorities to ensure contentment” in relationship to the 3rd verse of the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu

“Practice not doing…

When action is pure and selfless,

Everything settles into its own perfect place.”

Thus Dyer’s interpretation of this translation of Verse 3 is that we are being told to trust The Source (God/Creator) and know that there is something much loftier than our egos driving our existence.

He also suggests replacing our personal desires with the simple but profound “Tao-centered question: How may I serve?”

I was anticipating this meeting for days because I had placed an importance of its outcome to my success. It was all about what it meant to me and my goals. But then I heard the panic in my friend’s voice as he spoke of possibly losing everything in regards to what he was trying to build. As I began searching for what I could take out of all this that was positive…that’s when it became evident that I had a way to help to minimize his pain.

Paradoxically, I feel more enthusiastic because it’s no longer about me. It’s about how I can be of service to my friend. I just had to sit and smile because it reminded me of the many times my  spiritual mentor and Elder, Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha has shared with us the true way to happiness is through service to others.

“……. When man is strong enough to truly look at himself objectively, he will find it happened when he was totally involved in service to others.  This is when we remember and the question is answered of who and what we are.  Then and only then, can we see clearly and know Great Spirit.” -Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor*

* © 1994 Pa’Ris’Ha © Copyright 2007 Parisha Online. All Rights Reserved.

DISCLAIMER: All the opinions expressed in any articles, blog posts and Internet content written by me are my own and do not reflect the opinions or beliefs of any individuals or organizations with whom I associate.

©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: ALL quotes and/or materials from other authors or sources remain the sole property of the original authors/source.)

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May 21st 2011 – To What End?

20 May

“Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possibility.” – Oprah Winfrey

According to some people, the world is supposed to end this Saturday, May 21st. As soon as I heard that, I realized that I was scheduled to work at the restaurant. My first thought was of my co-workers. “These are not the people I would want to die with,” I realized.

But then most of us don’t get to pick and choose our company for the “final event.” I choose to think that there’s a brighter message to be discerned here.

Perhaps the value of these periodic “doomsday” proclamations is that they get some of us to thinking about our lives in terms of how we live, what have we accomplished, are we on the right track, etc.

When you live each day as a complete life, as I have observed of the one I know as spiritual mentor and Elder, Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha, there is a time for such self- evaluation within each 24-hour period. Some days I achieve that better than others.

I love that I have found a parallel to 12-Step practices in continuing to take personal inventory.  Occurring later in the progression of Steps, that practice is also designed to take place on a daily basis.

Living 24 hours as a complete Life, one can make course corrections on a moment-to-moment basis. When we live in self-deception, for whatever reason, the days can turn into years in a heartbeat, and then, as happens to some, there comes a day of epiphany when we realize that our life is not where or what we intended it to be.

According to Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha, we can turn that around in a moment’s decision.

“When it really makes a difference is when you get real and stop the pretense and determine you and you alone can set the course of your life. We cannot change the past, we can move forward and away from it and its influences.” –from Financial Literacy Series, An Enterprise Ventureby Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor*

If cries of impending doom give us pause to consider whether or not we’re living the life we envisioned for ourselves, then at least there is merit to the speculation. The real question is, if May 21st unfolds as “just another day” – will we take the opportunity to act upon whatever self-examination we may have made, or will we breathe a sigh of relief and put our self-determination of life’s purpose and productivity on hold for just a little while longer?

If I make one significant change this day and build on that, I will have a different life from what I’ve had. With no judgments on where I’ve been and what I’ve done, I can always create a better day than the one before. –Deborah Adler

* © 2004 Parisha Taylor. All rights reserved.

DISCLAIMER: All the opinions expressed in any articles, blog posts and Internet content written by me are my own and do not reflect the opinions or beliefs of any individuals or organizations with whom I associate.

©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: ALL quotes and/or materials from other authors or sources remain the sole property of the original authors/source.)

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Earth Day 2011 and the Dangers of “Fracking”

22 Apr

“The earth is not only the common heritage of all humankind but also the ultimate source of life. By over-exploiting its resources we are undermining the very basis of our own life. All around, signs abound of the destruction caused by human activity and of the degradation of nature. Therefore, the protection and conservation of the earth is not a question of morality or ethics but a question of our survival. How we respond to this challenge will affect not only this generation but also many generations to come.”  -Dalai Lama (from his message Caring for the Earth)

I came across a report from ABC Nightline about earthquakes that have been experienced in the state of Arkansas which are suspected of being linked to the industrial practice of hydraulic fracturing or “fracking.”

I am including links here to the ABC Nightline website as well as the YouTube link, which I hope will not be removed under pressure from the Natural Gas Industry.

ABC NEWS NIGHTLINE – 4/21 – Fracking Connected to Earthquakes

http://youtu.be/pmqW7AQXMU8

Huffington Post Green: Earthquake in Arkansas

Here are just a few “highlights” from these and written reports from the internet:

Close to 1100 Earthquakes have been recorded since last September with the commencement of pumping of disposal water into the earth to prime natural gas wells, known as “Fracking,” in the Arkansas River Valley area.

Some have registered 2-3 on Richter Scale, some 4. There was a 4.7 magnitude quake in March. 

“Coincidentally” there has been a 50% reduction in earth quakes locally after the shut-down of two injection wells.

Here is the Google Results of seismic activity in Arkansas in just the last few days:

Recent earthquakes near Arkansas

Time

Magnitude

Location

3 days ago

3.3

Arkansas

Map

4 days ago

2.6

Arkansas

Map

6 days ago

3.0

Arkansas

Map

earthquake.usgs.gov

Here’s a map of today’s earthquake activity throughout the United States. That isolated cluster is Arkansas.

Today is Earth Day.  This official designation began forty-one years ago. Actually, every day is Earth Day because she, the Earth Mother, is our Home. Whether you refer to the Earth as a Planet, a Ship, a Living Entity, Mother – She is the ground we stand upon and the sphere we move through space upon encircling the Sun.

In the tradition of her Traditional Indigenous roots, the one I have known as a spiritual mentor and Elder, Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha, speaks often of the importance of honoring the Earth Mother as a living Being. Indigenous Cultures know the importance of treating the Earth with Respect. Traditional Peoples Honor the Earth. There is a relationship of mutual survival. Where the Earth provides for us, we replenish.

We as a Society and most particularly as a country have bled the earth for oil, scrapped off her mountain tops for coal, gutted her forests for numerous purposes, poured noxious chemicals and gases into the air, dumped garbage and more chemicals into her waterways, and now we’re injecting waste water deep into bedrock to “loosen” natural gas to the surface through pipelines. These are acts of greed, raping and pillaging – not of respect.

The Earth is fully capable of providing for our needs. Abundance is a Principle. It’s even spoken of in the Bible (New Testament, King James Version).

“Luke 12: (24) Consider the ravens: for they neither sow nor reap; which neither have storehouse nor barn; and God feedeth them: how much more are ye better than the fowls?…(27)Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.  (28)If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith?”

When we moved from being an agricultural society where each family unit was self-sustaining to an industrialized society which, like the assembly line, transformed us into segmented pieces where we depend on outside sources for the manufacture of our food, clothing and other necessities, we lost an essential relationship with the Earth Mother and the Elements.

Farmers still know this relationship. Their livelihood depends upon it. Our survival under this paradigm depends upon them. But we need to wake up. An attitude of Respect, conservation and preservation is required from all of us. We must form a collective consciousness to turn the tide of destruction. We are literally tearing apart our home underneath our feet.

Traditional Peoples hunt, fish, and grow crops with respect for the Earth as Provider. Only what is needed is taken. There is no manipulation or mauling of the natural resources that would endanger the natural order and balance of Creation. We operate as Co-Creators with Respect for Creator/Creation.

Given that our society has been and will continue to be industrialized and moving beyond into the technology-information phase, we cannot necessarily turn back to becoming an agricultural state. We can however become consciously aware of every action we take in the name of “self-preservation” and its effect upon all living Beings as well as the Mother Ship Herself.

There is no self-preservation without Respect for and preservation of our Home, the Earth.  -Deborah Adler

From “Grandmother’s Legacy” by Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha

“I am so very grateful for the wisdom in the lifestyle of my Cherokee family. We refer to it simply as “The Way”. Nature is the oldest of our Elders and we know her well. She has birthed our Human Elders to give words to her ways. It is simple, but can be hard if we make it such or resist the authority that is its life giving power. We accept all has purpose within the Circle Of Life…

“To take only what we need and to not kill the Tree or Bush we take fruit and food from. To leave enough to reseed and living the principle of reincarnation and allow all life its course of existence was how we were given to live here. This is called the Sacred Hoop.”*

* © Copyright 2007 Parisha Online. All Rights Reserved.



DISCLAIMER: All the opinions expressed in any articles, blog posts and Internet content written by me are my own and do not reflect the opinions or beliefs of any individuals or organizations with whom I associate.

©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: ALL quotes and/or materials from other authors or sources remain the sole property of the original authors/source.)

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Service Driven

20 Apr

“When we wish and seek to help others, our attitude is more positive and relationships become easier. We are less afraid and have less anxiety. Otherwise we remain shy and hesitant, and feel the need to take a thousand precautions before we approach people. When our intentions are good, we have greater self-confidence and are stronger. This is how we learn to understand how precious and valuable kindness is.”  –Dalai Lama

When you have something that you know will help others then you’re not bothering them by getting them the information. My job as the representative of a service that can benefit everyone is to get them the information. Their job is to act on it or not. My job is finished with the hand-off. I don’t need to convince, I just need to inform.

When I keep service uppermost in my mind then I am approaching people from a mind-set of helping them with a service. Zig Ziglar is known for saying you will always get what you want if you just help enough other people get what they want.

My business and spiritual mentor, whom I also call Elder, Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha has demonstrated, through a life of service, the empowerment of bringing service into every aspect of one’s life. Service is not a separate activity you do, but a way of life that is interwoven through your personal, professional and spiritual life.

If I am timid or shy about my services, then I will withhold information. First and foremost I have to believe in my product, my service, or I shouldn’t be offering it. I never know who is in need of what I have to offer, but if I offer it to everyone I encounter, I will find those who have been waiting for someone like me to show up in their lives.

“Vast opportunities are in the greatest chaos, and when you are in discomfort and fear. In comfort you are stagnant; in discomfort you cannot control and must meet the occasion called progress and development.” -Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha*

*© 1986-2011 Parisha Taylor. All rights reserved.

DISCLAIMER: All the opinions expressed in any articles, blog posts and Internet content written by me are my own and do not reflect the opinions or beliefs of any individuals or organizations with whom I associate.

©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: ALL quotes and/or materials from other authors or sources remain the sole property of the original authors/source.)

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60 is the New 30!

14 Apr

“I have found, for myself, that the best secret to aging is about your attitude,” Oprah says. “I think it’s how you feel about yourself at any given moment—if you’re in love with yourself, if you feel that you have [something] to offer to yourself, your family and the world.” –Oprah Winfrey

I saw a clip on a morning show the other day about a 60 year old woman who has been winning awards as a championship body-builder who was about to embark on training for the grueling Triathlon.

“Sixty is now the new Thirty” proclaimed the announcer.

I’m LOVIN’ IT!

I have been associated with an extraordinary group of people over the years who have remained active and productive; some of them well into their 70’s and beyond.

We build, we hike, we get involved in volunteer projects to benefit others. We joke about how we can fit an entire week into 24 hours. We laugh and sing and enjoy life.

Advertising agencies have long been on a campaign to convince the American public that they’re “toast” after 25. BULL!

We are who and what we think we are. Simply the mantra “Sixty is the New Thirty!” repeated over the course of the day is bound to put a spring in your step!

Jack Benny was famous for telling everyone he was perpetually “39” – but that was a form of denial. Everyone laughed. But everyone knew that was a lie.

“Sixty is the New Thirty!” is a revolution. It’s celebrating that fact that the mind has the ability to dictate to the body how it will function.

Think that’s a bunch of bunk? Take a look at Health and Fitness Icon Jack Lalane, who died at the age of 96. He chose to celebrate his 70th birthday “handcuffed, shackled, and fighting strong winds and currents”, towing70 rowboats, including one with several guests, from the Queen’s Way Bridge in the Long Beach Harbor to the Queen Mary, for a total distance of 1 mile!

Think he got up in the morning and thought about being old?

I remember when Jane Fonda turned 40. She as well as a host of other actresses of the same age was being celebrated as coming of age – a new age of arrival for women. Now, as the life expectancy increases for humans, and the crazy, rockin’ “Baby Boomers” move into their sixties – there’s a renaissance afoot that’s likely to throw all the old conventions about “aging” right out the window!

I, for one, celebrate this.

How old am I?

30! 🙂

 -Deborah Adler

“Treat your body as the Altar where you meet face to face and heart to heart with what you accept as supreme intelligence, in whatever sacred Name you call it. Live as you believe God to Be. And love as you desire to be loved. Appreciate and focus on what you want more of in life.” -Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha* from THE BODY AS AN ALTAR*

* © Copyright POL 2005 © Copyright 2007 Parisha Online. All Rights Reserved.
DISCLAIMER: All the opinions expressed in any articles, blog posts and Internet content written by me are my own and do not reflect the opinions or beliefs of any individuals or organizations with whom I associate.

©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: ALL quotes and/or materials from other authors or sources remain the sole property of the original authors/source.)

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Persistency Pays Off

27 Mar

“I am a woman in process. I’m just trying like everybody else. I try to take every conflict, every experience, & learn from it.” –Oprah Winfrey

Persistency has been a challenge for me in life.

“Inch-by-inch is a cinch

Yard-by-yard is hard.”

That’s a saying often used in network marketing circles, but it applies to life in general.

As one who often tries to “push the river” I’ve had to embrace a simple but effective means of selling…the “sort.”

Sorting through prospects de-personalizes the “no’s” and helps you get to the “yes’s” faster and with less high drama.

Consistent Effort Yields Consistent Results.

Just this past week I’ve experienced two prime examples of a subtle consistent effort of sharing information with prospects over time resulting in them coming to me with a sense of urgency and saying, “I’m ready to take a real look at this.”

Key factor, “I’m ready.”

When someone is receptive, they’re going to accept the information. When they are resistant, they are going to remain closed off to it – no matter how obvious it might be that they are in need or could benefit from your service or product.

“Surrender” comes to mind. I put in the effort and turn over the outcome to something or someone beyond my immediate desire to manipulate circumstances to my advantage. Because it’s not about just me – it’s about a larger picture that involves the “Greatest Good for All.”

There’s also the fact that good sales entails being a good listener. Find the need and fulfill it – don’t cram what you need down someone else’s throat.

A person’s own timing can be a key element to acceptance. If they feel pressured they walk away. It’s instinctive to protect one’s self. If the door is left open and the atmosphere remains friendly without any sense of obligation or pressure, they are more likely to stay close. Staying close they will continue to be exposed to new information. Eventually they will either “buy” or not – sorting themselves in or out of the picture.

That can require some patience. It also requires losing a sense of desperation. People sense that a mile away – and they run. If you stay interested in the other person’s needs, they’ll keep talking.

I’m getting better at that. This week, I got to see the fruits of  quiet persistency – and non-desperation.

Detachment is very helpful in sales, as in life. There is no one person or occurance upon which the success of my business or my life hangs on. Whatever transpires is all good.

Do the “inch-by-inch” and determine your destination, but let go of the results and be flexible when the course takes an unanticipated turn – because it’s in those moments where God-Creator-The Universe takes over and delivers an even greater outcome than we could have ever imagined!

“All around you no matter where you are is opportunity. You decide its potential and outcome. You are the co-creators. Make a life worthy of all the gifts we are. Love from a place empty of fear. Live in eternal celebration of being chosen for this world and life, and if we manage well, we will dwell in its glory and beauty again.” -Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha

 


* DISCLAIMER: All the opinions expressed in any articles, blog posts and Internet content written by me are my own and do not reflect the opinions or beliefs of any individuals or organizations with whom I associate.

©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: ALL quotes and/or materials from other authors or sources remain the sole property of the original authors/source.)

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