Tag Archives: love

May 21st 2011 – To What End?

20 May

“Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possibility.” – Oprah Winfrey

According to some people, the world is supposed to end this Saturday, May 21st. As soon as I heard that, I realized that I was scheduled to work at the restaurant. My first thought was of my co-workers. “These are not the people I would want to die with,” I realized.

But then most of us don’t get to pick and choose our company for the “final event.” I choose to think that there’s a brighter message to be discerned here.

Perhaps the value of these periodic “doomsday” proclamations is that they get some of us to thinking about our lives in terms of how we live, what have we accomplished, are we on the right track, etc.

When you live each day as a complete life, as I have observed of the one I know as spiritual mentor and Elder, Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha, there is a time for such self- evaluation within each 24-hour period. Some days I achieve that better than others.

I love that I have found a parallel to 12-Step practices in continuing to take personal inventory.  Occurring later in the progression of Steps, that practice is also designed to take place on a daily basis.

Living 24 hours as a complete Life, one can make course corrections on a moment-to-moment basis. When we live in self-deception, for whatever reason, the days can turn into years in a heartbeat, and then, as happens to some, there comes a day of epiphany when we realize that our life is not where or what we intended it to be.

According to Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha, we can turn that around in a moment’s decision.

“When it really makes a difference is when you get real and stop the pretense and determine you and you alone can set the course of your life. We cannot change the past, we can move forward and away from it and its influences.” –from Financial Literacy Series, An Enterprise Ventureby Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor*

If cries of impending doom give us pause to consider whether or not we’re living the life we envisioned for ourselves, then at least there is merit to the speculation. The real question is, if May 21st unfolds as “just another day” – will we take the opportunity to act upon whatever self-examination we may have made, or will we breathe a sigh of relief and put our self-determination of life’s purpose and productivity on hold for just a little while longer?

If I make one significant change this day and build on that, I will have a different life from what I’ve had. With no judgments on where I’ve been and what I’ve done, I can always create a better day than the one before. –Deborah Adler

* © 2004 Parisha Taylor. All rights reserved.

DISCLAIMER: All the opinions expressed in any articles, blog posts and Internet content written by me are my own and do not reflect the opinions or beliefs of any individuals or organizations with whom I associate.

©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: ALL quotes and/or materials from other authors or sources remain the sole property of the original authors/source.)

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What IS the Meaning of Life?

14 May

What I know for sure is that what you give comes back to you. –Oprah Winfrey

Betty White has shared recently in some TV interviews about her mother’s wonderful perspective on death. She says that her mother used to tell her that no one really knows what that moment is like until they go through it – so she used to call it “the Secret.”  When someone they knew died, Betty’s Mother would just say, “Well, now they know ‘the Secret’.”

When we’re in our twenties we think we have all the answers. The adults in our lives are clueless, or so we think. Or maybe they are. It seems the longer I live and the closer I move towards my encounter with “the Secret” – all I have are more and more questions.

Life is a Mystery.

When I contemplate the meaning of life – one single humanoid span of existence on the planet – against a backdrop of Eternity, it can seem pretty insignificant. Yet I know that we are each Unique, we are each Essential and, Everything has Purpose.

I also have come to realize, as my spiritual mentor and Elder, Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha, often states: Everything is exactly On Time.

One other thing I have come to appreciate is that our existence here is about Service. We are here to interconnect and interact and invest our energies, resources and time in the well being of others. It can be ongoing involvement or it can be a spontaneous act of kindness. It can be volunteering, participating in a “Walk for the Cure” or similar event, or holding a door for someone, or just smiling or taking a moment to listen. It is through such activity that fulfillment can be realized.

Whether or not I know the true meaning of life – I do know that living in service will give meaning to the time we spend living.

“Speak to all gently and with real compliment. See yourself in everyone and thus knowing God Is and Oneness as real. Love, love with the love you really are, fear not and let it flow and touch everyone and all things…” – Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha*

* © 2011  Pa’Ris’Ha.  All Rights Reserved

DISCLAIMER: All the opinions expressed in any articles, blog posts and Internet content written by me are my own and do not reflect the opinions or beliefs of any individuals or organizations with whom I associate.

©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: ALL quotes and/or materials from other authors or sources remain the sole property of the original authors/source.)

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Mother’s Day 2011

8 May

I believe that every single event in life happens in an opportunity to choose love over fear. -Oprah

Mothers traditionally represent a nurturing love. Although not everyone experiences that sort of relationship with their mothers, I have been fortunate to have been blessed with several nurturing mother-figures in my life.

I have written numerous posts about my biological Mother, Ethel Irene Kugler.  (see http://silverstreammusic.tripod.com/id57.html)  

Her oldest sister, Grace, was also a mother figure to me, as she was to my Mom. She was a self-proclaimed “simple” woman who never went past the 8th grade because she had to quit school to stay at home and help to raise her sisters, to help her ailing mother.

Aunt Grace had a wisdom that far transcended “book-learning.” She had a good heart and always thought the best of others. Her life had some challenges but her sense of humor and love of family and God kept her on an even keel. She had five children and the grandchildren and great-grand children and great-great grand children, etc, has yielded quite the Clan. In this digital age, many of us are tracking each other through emails and FaceBook, which is a fitting tribute to a woman whose house saw the likes of 30 or more people and several generations passing through every Christmas Day.

My Aunt Gladys was also older than my Mom. She shared my mother’s love of animals and her backyard was a haven for the squirrels and birds. I got a chance to know her much better and learn some things about my Mom’s childhood one year when I stayed with Gladys for several days. She was also a gentle person. They were all three from another era. I miss them.

A huge blessing and gift in my life has been one whom I have known as spiritual mentor and Elder for over 25 years, Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha. She also is known to refer to herself as a simple woman. She is by her own description “a Wife, Mother, Grandmother and an incurable people watcher. I am Creator’s Child, Loving, Serving, Living and Learning in this world.”

Through my association with Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha I have been blessed to travel to many wonderful places, experience an entire extended global family and take part in humanitarian projects. Mostly I’ve had the opportunity to grow professionally, physically, spiritually. Perhaps the best insight I can offer others is through one of her writings, Grandmother’s Legacy.   (alt location at parishataylor.com)

from Woman is Mother and Like No Other by Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha:

“To come into the Earth as Woman is a calling to replenish the Earth and be her vessel of unconditional Love, to nurture and be steadfast in faith. Throughout the storms of life, to be constant in trust that The One is present and all is as it is needed to be.  As a woman moves to maturity, all she can hope for is see that her works are good. Then a Mother can rest.” 

* © 1996 Pa’Ris’Ha.   © Copyright 2007 Parisha Online. All Rights Reserved.

Happy Mother’s Day All! – Deborah Adler


DISCLAIMER: All the opinions expressed in any articles, blog posts and Internet content written by me are my own and do not reflect the opinions or beliefs of any individuals or organizations with whom I associate.

©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: ALL quotes and/or materials from other authors or sources remain the sole property of the original authors/source.)

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The Easter Hat

23 Apr

“Family and friends are hidden treasures, seek them and enjoy their riches” –Dalai Lama

When I was in kindergarten I made an Easter Hat for my Mom. Of course, it was one of those wonderful paper-plate and crepe paper specials the likes of which can only come from a 5 or 6 year old. The materials may be simple, but in the eyes of the child, it is a beautiful creation made with love!

I rode the bus home, but on this particular day I happened to forget to tell the Driver to stop in front of my house. So at the corner of Dartmouth and Coolidge, he stopped and looked back at me. Reluctantly I got out, even though the corner where he opened the door to  was still not planted with any grass seed, so it was all mud.

The crepe paper ties slid down off the top of the hat and got muddied as I cried and walked my way back to my house in the middle of the block. As my Mom opened the door I was totally in tears because her beautiful Easter Hat Surprise was ruined.

She made a big fuss over it anyway, and tried to comfort me. I was as much upset over having missed my stop as having the walk in the mud, etc. Her soothing, loving voice caressed me and she took the Easter Hat into the kitchen.

With the kind of care that only a Mother can manage, she took a paper towel and wet it and squeezed the excess moisture out of it and then gently brushed the mud away from the crepe paper, leaving it intact. Considering how fragile crepe paper is – that was quite a fete!

With one of those “There – that’s all better now” proclamations only a Mother can pull off in spite of any diversity, she showed me the Easter Hat sparkling once again. She placed it on the dining room table to dry off and assured me it would be fine.

We didn’t really celebrate Easter in my house – at least not the Holy Day. Due to a mixed religious marriage and issues from my Dad’s side of the family, we didn’t really have religious observances. But Christmas was an annual journey to my Mom’s relatives in Easton, PA, where we spent the week celebrating with them, and Easter was a special day in our house where I got the traditional Easter Basket laden with candy and Mom, Dad and I all gave presents to each other.  We also ate off the “special dishes” at the dining room table, complete with linen tablecloth, with NO TV on. Beside each of our plates was a small “special occasion” wine glass with Manischewitz in it. This was the sole occasion of the year where wine was served. It was sort of our Springtime Christmas.

One Easter, much to my Dad’s chagrin, I got a live baby chick from our favorite pet store! (A surprise engineered by my Mom and me). Since my Mother had raised Bantam chickens as a girl, she helped me raise him – but that’s another story!

Happy Easter to all who celebrate it.

May the Holiday be a reminder to us of a Holy Observance of One who came to deliver a message of Love. My spiritual mentor and Elder, Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha has often shared that Jesus is to the Heart what Buddha is to the Mind. Christhood and Buddha-hood together represent wholeness. May we all strive to be whole!  -Deborah Adler

Have a wonder-filled day and allow there to be much to be thankful for in your day. Touch others lives today in a service that will reward you and them in a good and helpful way. Harm no one and let truth be your solid ground. Create blessings in your life, live as God is!” –Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha (A Seasonal Wonder!)*

© Copyright 2007 Parisha Online. All Rights Reserved.

DISCLAIMER: All the opinions expressed in any articles, blog posts and Internet content written by me are my own and do not reflect the opinions or beliefs of any individuals or organizations with whom I associate.

©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: ALL quotes and/or materials from other authors or sources remain the sole property of the original authors/source.)

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3 Weeks and Counting

2 Apr

“I define joy as a sustained sense of well-being and internal peace – a connection to what matters.” Oprah Winfrey

Three weeks ago I attended a Women’s Expo. I was there as an exhibitor helping to staff a booth. We had a fairly good turn out both days and I managed to talk with a lot of people. I came away with ten solid leads, three of which have already led to sales.

I also received a gift on the second and final day of the Expo. One of the other exhibitors had carnations that she has been giving out to the attendees. As the event was drawing to a close and fellow exhibitors began taking our displays down, she came around to give away the remaining carnations she had.

I got a beautiful white carnation. I carefully protected it amongst the several things I had to carry out with me and when I arrived back at my place I cut the long stem down and placed her in a tall jar I had for just such an occasion. Then I placed her in on my desk in front of my computer keyboard (where I spend most of my time!).

I am amazed to say that she is still vibrant, still fresh standing upright in her glass. I’ve freshened the water twice and even wiped off a little slim that looked like it was forming at her base.

I feel like I have a new friend. I have spoken my appreciation for her beauty and gifting to me from day one. She seems remarkably resilient. She evens smells like a carnation. One thing I have noticed to my disappointment is that so man flowers now-a-days don’t smell any more – which is sad.

My Father used to gift my Mother and I with gardenia corsages for special occasions. They were so fragrant and beautiful. Their fragrance graced the house for many days afterward.

Maybe this sounds like a lot of fuss over one flower. But I feel a connection to this Being. It was, after all, taken from its connection to the Earth, thus cut off from its nourishment and life support. Still, she has survived and gifted me not only its beauty and strength but a sense of companionship. Every time I look at her, I get the sense that I’m looking at a special Messenger.

So I celebrate my Friend, the Carnation, today. I will enjoy however many more days we have together because I have come to appreciate that there are no coincidences; Life is a Gift and comes in many different forms, and Appreciation is the key to a rich and joyous experience here. – Deborah Adler

“The Old One said, ‘All life resonates from our existence. The universe is our outer body. All is connected.’ This has been an echo that has been at the heart of a life time of seeking and exploring being Human. How and what does it mean to be human? Like the subatomic level of atoms and electrons that are the base of all matter and form, Man is such in the Cosmos.” –Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha,  from The Body as an Altar*

*© Copyright 2005 POL; © Copyright 2007 Parisha Online. All Rights Reserved



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DISCLAIMER: All the opinions expressed in any articles, blog posts and Internet content written by me are my own and do not reflect the opinions or beliefs of any individuals or organizations with whom I associate.

©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: ALL quotes and/or materials from other authors or sources remain the sole property of the original authors/source.)

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The Art of Listening

22 Mar

Listening – really listening to another person while they’re talking – requires that one’s attention is on the person who is speaking. Elementary, you say? Maybe. But in the past few days I’ve observed amongst a group of people with whom I do business on a regular basis the alarming lack of attention to the speaker. In fact, I’ve watched as people talk over another – as though they weren’t even there.

The best sales people are good listeners. The best salesperson is going to ask questions to find out their client’s needs and desires. The best salesperson is going to be dedicated to finding a way to fulfill those needs and desires in the best way possible. If you take good care of a client, they become a customer for life. If you don’t, they’ll most likely not be back.

Listening requires being present and paying attention to something outside of our own mind’s yama-yama.

I took part in an exercise years ago that involved pairing up with someone and looking into their eyes without saying anything. Taking turns as the Perceiver and the Seen, the goal of the exercise was to silently acknowledge the person we were looking into. The premise was that many people suffer from feelings of inadequacy because they weren’t “seen” at birth. Their arrival was not celebrated. So they move through their lives feeling starved for attention or missing something, or unworthy.

The exercise was powerful. Some cried. Others laughed. But the overall effect was profound. Some felt they had never been acknowledged as having importance, and this simply exercise offered a tremendous healing.

When we’re in conversation with another, it’s important to focus on that person. That’s true especially for children. How often does an adult pay partial attention to the child that trying so hard to get their attention? If their timing is bad, it’s okay to say “you’re interrupting right now” or some other appropriate direction without making the child wrong or bad. But then it’s important to come back around and give your undivided attention to that little person at some point and give validity to their need.

People crave being listened to. My mother used to grocery shop three times a week just to “visit” with the cashiers who knew her and always had a smile for her and asked about her dogs, and how were things going. They were genuinely interested in her, and it helped her to feel cared about.

The best gift we can give to another is our full attention, because that’s saying to them, “You’re important. What you have to say is important. I value you.”

The art of listening is just another aspect of Respect. In a world where too often people shout at each other without hearing what the other person is saying, we need to foster all the Respect we can, whenever and wherever we can.   -Deborah Adler

“Mutual respect is the foundation of genuine harmony. We should strive for a spirit of harmony, not for political or economic reasons, but rather simply because we realize the value of other traditions.” – Dalai Lama

“We are aware on all levels of our inner-actions with the Source Of All. We see it in Nature. The Seasons, the Sunrise and Sunset, the Winds, the Clouds, the Rains. Creator is in the cry of the newly born, and the scream of the Mother in birth. It is in our children’s laughter and our tears, in our songs and in our work. We see it in all the creatures that live in this world with us. We see it in all mankind. Where is God not?” –Grandmother’s Legacy by Pa’Ris’Ha*

*© Copyright 2002 Parisha. All Rights Reserved.  © Copyright 2007 Parisha Online. All Rights Reserved.

 

DISCLAIMER: All the opinions expressed in any articles, blog posts and Internet content written by me are my own and do not reflect the opinions or beliefs of any individuals or organizations with whom I associate.

©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: ALL quotes and/or materials from other authors or sources remain the sole property of the original authors/source.)

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Learning, Growing

20 Mar

“There is a lesson in almost everything that you do, and getting the lesson is how you move forward. It is how you enrich your spirit.” –Oprah

Life is an ongoing series of lessons learned from taking actions that either yield desirable results or not. When the results are of the “not desirable” kind, it’s up to us to turn that assessment into one that can be used to better our understanding, increase our determination or fuel our desire to press on.

When thwarted by another’s actions – or so it seems – it all comes back to us. What could we have done different. What can we do now?

Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha often refers to this as “Mis-take; Re-Take.”  In other words, using the opportunity of undesirable results to create desirable results the second time around. There comes no judgment with that, no guilt-tripping or vilification. There is simply the observation, the evaluation, and the re-creation based upon whether the final results are deemed productive or not.

We ask ourselves, “How can I do that differently to produce a different outcome?” and then proceed accordingly.  -Deborah Adler

Learning is dealing with failure. Growing is maximizing our failures.” -Pa’Ris’Ha*


*© Copyright 2007 Parisha Online. All Rights Reserved.


DISCLAIMER: All the opinions expressed in any articles, blog posts and Internet content written by me are my own and do not reflect the opinions or beliefs of any individuals or organizations with whom I associate.

©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: ALL quotes and/or materials from other authors or sources remain the sole property of the original authors/source.)

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