Tag Archives: network marketing

Service Driven

20 Apr

“When we wish and seek to help others, our attitude is more positive and relationships become easier. We are less afraid and have less anxiety. Otherwise we remain shy and hesitant, and feel the need to take a thousand precautions before we approach people. When our intentions are good, we have greater self-confidence and are stronger. This is how we learn to understand how precious and valuable kindness is.”  –Dalai Lama

When you have something that you know will help others then you’re not bothering them by getting them the information. My job as the representative of a service that can benefit everyone is to get them the information. Their job is to act on it or not. My job is finished with the hand-off. I don’t need to convince, I just need to inform.

When I keep service uppermost in my mind then I am approaching people from a mind-set of helping them with a service. Zig Ziglar is known for saying you will always get what you want if you just help enough other people get what they want.

My business and spiritual mentor, whom I also call Elder, Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha has demonstrated, through a life of service, the empowerment of bringing service into every aspect of one’s life. Service is not a separate activity you do, but a way of life that is interwoven through your personal, professional and spiritual life.

If I am timid or shy about my services, then I will withhold information. First and foremost I have to believe in my product, my service, or I shouldn’t be offering it. I never know who is in need of what I have to offer, but if I offer it to everyone I encounter, I will find those who have been waiting for someone like me to show up in their lives.

“Vast opportunities are in the greatest chaos, and when you are in discomfort and fear. In comfort you are stagnant; in discomfort you cannot control and must meet the occasion called progress and development.” -Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha*

*© 1986-2011 Parisha Taylor. All rights reserved.

DISCLAIMER: All the opinions expressed in any articles, blog posts and Internet content written by me are my own and do not reflect the opinions or beliefs of any individuals or organizations with whom I associate.

©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: ALL quotes and/or materials from other authors or sources remain the sole property of the original authors/source.)

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Comfort Equals Stagnation

18 Jan

“The worst curse to befall anyone is stagnation, a banal existence,
the quiet desperation that comes out of a need for conformity.”

— Deepak Chopra

If you think about it, conformity is something we’re herded into from the beginning of our school experience. Whether we started in nursery school or kindergarten, we still received our introduction to “The Schedule.”

We became indoctrinated into “Learning Time” – “Play Time” – “Cookie Time” – “Nap Time.” If we didn’t want to cooperate we were labeled as “trouble-makers.

Non-conformists were labeled as “subversives” in the sixties. At the same time, Malvina Reynolds wrote a wonderful song called “Little Boxes” poking fun at conformity. Here’s an excerpt:

“Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes made of ticky tacky,
Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes all the same.
There’s a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one,
And they’re all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.” *

Conformity is its own kind of prison that traps us into believing we are “normal” – but with limitations, like the walls of that prison. It’s deceptive because we can feel “safe” within its confines – but the fact is, we’re still imprisoned.

This leads to stagnation, which is a form of living death.

In the course of our own personal development, if we aren’t stretching ourselves and moving forward, we’re most probably moving backward. For those of us on a spiritual path, there can be no “resting.” There can be a moment’s pause to refresh, or reflect, but coming to a full halt is the beginning of deterioration of what we’ve built up to that point.

In 12-Step Recovery programs there is a saying, “No Pain, No Gain.” While I don’t believe it should be necessary to experience pain in order to grow, I do know that is it necessary to plunge one’s self into chaos. “Comfort” is not a good fertilizer for growth, whether personal, professional, spiritual or whatever. “Discomfort” is an indicator that we’re living outside the constrictions of the prison of conformity – we’re in “unchartered waters” – so to speak – without a map, a compass, and possibly even a boat or water wings!

But that is the fertile ground where growth takes place. “Necessity is the mother of invention” and we are forced into new ways of thinking, acting, and relating to ourselves and the world. It is in these moments of “discomfort” that we truly discover our inner strengths and capabilities. We discover new truths and leave old myths behind us – like a grasshopper shedding its skin, leaving behind a perfectly formed outline of what it used to be but has grown out of.

We don’t generally like being uncomfortable – that’s why we tend to avoid it. But the alternative is far worse. Stagnation is living death. There can only be one way to grow – get out of our comfort zone.

In practical application, as one who depends on cold calls for prospecting, I have to encounter my resistance to “discomfort” daily – or I experience the consequences, i.e. no income. I love the rewards of successful prospecting, which results in sales. So in order to experience that end result, I have to embrace discomfort.

Same thing applies in recovery from addictions. Getting clean and sober is physically painful. It’s “comfortable” to stay high, and detoxification is a bear – but in order to clear the body of its poisons, one has to be able to get through the pain of withdrawal. Then there’s dealing with the loss of your “best friend” – your drug of choice. That hurts too, mentally and emotionally. But getting past that discomfort means winning and progressing to a better way of living drug/alcohol-free.

“In comfort you are stagnant; in discomfort you cannot control and must meet the occasion called progress and development.” –Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha

-Deborah Adler

* words and music by Malvina Reynolds; copyright 1962 Schroder Music Company, renewed 1990.

©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: All quotes remain the sole property of the original authors.)

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Why Would I Want to Be Re-Tired?

27 Nov

I was reminded of the issue of aging today by my Spiritual Mentor and Elder Grandmother Parisha from a comment she posted on Facebook. I responded by sharing the memory of how my mother once shared with me (on one of our many “running around doing stuff together and talking” excursions) that she couldn’t relate to being “old.” (She was sixty-something when she made this comment). She then revealed an amazing truth that probably had a lot to do with her girlish looks and child-like wonder. She said that she didn’t think about being old because when she looked at the world she was looking out through the eyes of a twenty-five year old. She was viewing the world through the eyes of her youth!

Although I appreciated that comment when I heard it, and it became one more personal aspect of her that I treasured, I’ve come to really appreciate the wisdom and the impact of her statement now that I have just achieved the “60” mile marker.

I, too, view the world through the eyes of the young girl that I still am in my mind. Oh sure, I’ve accumulated experiences along the way – not all of them pretty – but I’ve also retained a portion of the little kid in me who chuckles when watching ants in the grass, or “ooo’s and ahh’s” at a beautiful sunrise or sunset, or laughs aloud at the daily comics, or cries at a sentimental Disney movie (even the animated films) – well, you get the picture.

Even though I, like my mother, look younger than a lot of people much younger than me, I guess my face has taken on some tell-tale lines because I’ve had customers at work make different comments that I haven’t quite understood, and have had to find a way to process.

I was really feeling good one day because I had accomplished a milestone with regard to my network marketing business. When a guy asked me what I was so happy about I remarked that I had just gotten some great news.

“A new grand kid?” he asked.

My face got all contorted and I had to remember that we’re supposed to be nice to the customers – not revile them for any off-handed remarks. “No,” I replied matter-of-factly, I don’t have any kids.”

What I really wanted to say was, “Why would I want to live vicariously through someone else’s accomplishment?” But I didn’t. I got his order together, smiled and sent him on his way.

I’ve has a few references to “retirement” thrown my way, too. One guy asked me the other day what was I planning for retirement? Why would I plan for retirement? Think about what that really means?

Grandmother Parisha often does an exercise with us to help us better understand the meaning behind the words we use. She breaks them down into their parts and finds the meaning of each.

So the prefix “re-” according to Webster’s means “again.”

Further examination of the prefix “re-“ the online World English Dictionary (at http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/re-) yields this:

“— prefix 1. indicating return to a previous condition, restoration, withdrawal, etc:
2. indicating repetition of an action”

So WHY ON EARTH would I want to be RE-TIRED?

I don’t want to be TIRED to begin with!

Over the past 25 years I’ve participated in some amazing adventures with a core group of people who haven’t bought into the mass mind concepts of aging and what the body and mind “can” or “can’t” do. We’ve studied and worked with concepts of Mind Into Matter by Fred Alan Wolf; The Science of Changing Your Mind as Dr. Joe Dispenza discusses in his book, and many more who have mastered the simple truth that “As We Think, So We Are.”

Our time here on this planet is precious. One thing you do come to realize the further into the adventure you get is how short that time span really is with respect to the totality of the Universe and Infinite Time. We acquire wisdom from experience as we move through life. We need to stay sharp in our seeking and know that “retirement” means to be predisposed to voluntarily atrophying. It’s advanced Death.

Being involved in network marketing, I realize that people with jobs look forward to getting free – the common street use of the term “retirement.” But the real road to freedom is not at the end of a 40-year stint of trading time for money. Real freedom comes from creating wealth independent of the time-exchanged-for-money equation. But that’s another post. 🙂

Here’s the point: If we want to live full and active lives, we need to live full and active lives.

Forget the media blitzes that try to convince us we’re toast by the time we’re twenty. Follow the folks who are setting the bar higher and higher every day. Recently Louise Hay, author of Heal Your Body, declared that the new middle age is “75!”

Who wants to be tired? So why would you want to be re-tired? FORGET IT!

Rekindle the Child Within. Read a book with a three-year old, or better yet watch a Disney movie with them and let yourself laugh and cry aloud. Let their child-like wonder get inside you and then keep it!

Our self-speak is the key to how we function in this life. We become our thoughts. We face daily bombardment of influences from people, situations and information all around us – as well as the dialog within that wants us to believe that we are “less than” or “don’t deserve” or are “too this” or “not enough that.” How we view and process that “data” – as being real or illusionary – will determine the quality of our existence.

So ask yourself: “Do I really want to be re-tired?”


-Deborah Adler

©2010 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved.

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When The Going Gets Tough, Do You Keep Going?

1 Aug


“You have nothing to lose if you fail, but everything to gain by trying again.

“When you journal daily make a point to highlight what you have learned and what has changed in you. It is always what is inside that determines what we experience in each situation. We are human and this is the way we evolve and mature.

“We exchange time for experience…That is life.

“Take charge of yours…make goals and keep them.

“Make goals that involve stretching, but allow them to be within your means.

Daily accomplishments strengthen us.

Make some goals accomplishable on your way to major leaps!”*

These words are from my long time business coach and mentor Parisha Taylor. She is constantly reminding those of us she works with of the value of “failing forward.”   In her words, when we experience a “mis-take” we can easily do a “re-take” thus turning the learning experience from our “failure” into the building blocks of the next success. It’s that simple.

Grandmother Parisha was raised in a culture that provided a nourishing environment for learning through mis-takes and re-takes. So it’s natural for her to live and teach from this simple truth. For those of us who grew up with parents, teachers or other authority figures who might have admonished, criticized or demeaned us for our mistakes, we have to overcome old feelings of embarrassment or being “wrong” which we learned to equate with being “bad.”

Our upbringings are what they were. We can’t change the people from our past. But we CAN change the lessons we bring forward from the past.

Long after those “authority figures” are out of our lives, we allow their voices to occupy space in our heads. We bring forward those feelings of shame, hurt, or anger that block us from the freedom to make mistakes. We live in a culture that confuses “ignorance” for “stupidity,’ and condemns anything less than perfection, which in itself is self-defeating. Self admonishment is not an effective teacher. I know.

Life is a perpetual learning lab. It’s up to us to decide to be the perpetual student. By freeing ourselves from the old stigmas of making mistakes, we create an environment for ourselves that inspires success through persistence. Far too many people quit when they are closer than they realize to their goal.

By journaling our day at night-time before going to bed, as Coach Parisha Taylor advises, we can stake stock of the day’s successes and failures. We take note of what worked and what we could have done better or differently. These are the lessons we bring forth from our day – be it business, relationships, whatever.

Our experiences change us, if we chose to learn from them.  Journaling can assist to gain a perspective on that as well. “It is always what is inside that determines what we experience in each situation.”

Coach Parisha Taylor once shared these words with us from another great motivator, Brian Tracy: “RESOLVE in advance that you will never give up…RESOLVE to persist until you succeed.”  She reminds us that by refusing to stop, we become unstoppable!

Coach Parish’s also taught that time is the most precious commodity we have.  It is the only thing that we spend that we can never get back once we have. We can always get more money, more things…but time, once it’s gone, it’s gone. So exchanging out time for experience is a great way to make sure we get the most out of it every day. Miss no opportunity to learn from an interaction, a situation, however seemingly small or insignificant. For those moments will become the building blocks that we can utilize to take on the mountains we dare to dream about!

By treating life as an opportunity instead of a “sentence” – by realizing that every day is a gift, an adventure – by nurturing and loving ourselves – we can take on the most horrendous of circumstances and triumph – One victory at a time! – Deb Adler

*©1986-2010 Parisha Taylor. All rights reserved.

©2010 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved.

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