Tag Archives: Parisha Taylor articles

Free Webinar: Maintaining Calm in a World of Chaos

18 Nov

This Saturday, November 22nd, is an opportunity to tune into a free webinar with Parisha Taylor. There are two times, and if you can’t make either of those, sign-up anyway because you will be able to receive the audio free!

I highly recommend this webinar. I have worked with Parisha Taylor for over 28 years and you can find more of my experiences with her at my blog, My Extraordinary Life with Business Coach Parisha Taylor: Life Lessons in Excellence.

 

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Sign up for the free webinar here: http://nomw.parishas-world.com/maintain-calm/

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The Art of Listening

22 Mar

Listening – really listening to another person while they’re talking – requires that one’s attention is on the person who is speaking. Elementary, you say? Maybe. But in the past few days I’ve observed amongst a group of people with whom I do business on a regular basis the alarming lack of attention to the speaker. In fact, I’ve watched as people talk over another – as though they weren’t even there.

The best sales people are good listeners. The best salesperson is going to ask questions to find out their client’s needs and desires. The best salesperson is going to be dedicated to finding a way to fulfill those needs and desires in the best way possible. If you take good care of a client, they become a customer for life. If you don’t, they’ll most likely not be back.

Listening requires being present and paying attention to something outside of our own mind’s yama-yama.

I took part in an exercise years ago that involved pairing up with someone and looking into their eyes without saying anything. Taking turns as the Perceiver and the Seen, the goal of the exercise was to silently acknowledge the person we were looking into. The premise was that many people suffer from feelings of inadequacy because they weren’t “seen” at birth. Their arrival was not celebrated. So they move through their lives feeling starved for attention or missing something, or unworthy.

The exercise was powerful. Some cried. Others laughed. But the overall effect was profound. Some felt they had never been acknowledged as having importance, and this simply exercise offered a tremendous healing.

When we’re in conversation with another, it’s important to focus on that person. That’s true especially for children. How often does an adult pay partial attention to the child that trying so hard to get their attention? If their timing is bad, it’s okay to say “you’re interrupting right now” or some other appropriate direction without making the child wrong or bad. But then it’s important to come back around and give your undivided attention to that little person at some point and give validity to their need.

People crave being listened to. My mother used to grocery shop three times a week just to “visit” with the cashiers who knew her and always had a smile for her and asked about her dogs, and how were things going. They were genuinely interested in her, and it helped her to feel cared about.

The best gift we can give to another is our full attention, because that’s saying to them, “You’re important. What you have to say is important. I value you.”

The art of listening is just another aspect of Respect. In a world where too often people shout at each other without hearing what the other person is saying, we need to foster all the Respect we can, whenever and wherever we can.   -Deborah Adler

“Mutual respect is the foundation of genuine harmony. We should strive for a spirit of harmony, not for political or economic reasons, but rather simply because we realize the value of other traditions.” – Dalai Lama

“We are aware on all levels of our inner-actions with the Source Of All. We see it in Nature. The Seasons, the Sunrise and Sunset, the Winds, the Clouds, the Rains. Creator is in the cry of the newly born, and the scream of the Mother in birth. It is in our children’s laughter and our tears, in our songs and in our work. We see it in all the creatures that live in this world with us. We see it in all mankind. Where is God not?” –Grandmother’s Legacy by Pa’Ris’Ha*

*© Copyright 2002 Parisha. All Rights Reserved.  © Copyright 2007 Parisha Online. All Rights Reserved.

 

DISCLAIMER: All the opinions expressed in any articles, blog posts and Internet content written by me are my own and do not reflect the opinions or beliefs of any individuals or organizations with whom I associate.

©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: ALL quotes and/or materials from other authors or sources remain the sole property of the original authors/source.)

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Spring Forward

13 Mar

Amongst some of the more incredulously silly ideas humans have come up with is the notion that we can manipulate Time.

The logic behind “Daylight Savings Time” has been accredited to many things, not the least of which include giving Farmers an additional hour to work their fields, energy conservation and folks just wanting more “time” to enjoy sunny summer days.

Time itself, at least standardized regimented time, was a development of the railroad systems. Here’s a brief history from a California state energy site:

History of Daylight Saving Time

Daylight Saving Time is a change in the standard time of each time zone. Time zones were first used by the railroads in 1883 to standardize their schedules. According to the The Canadian Encyclopedia Plus by McClelland & Stewart Inc., Canada’s “[Sir Sandford] Fleming also played a key role in the development of a worldwide system of keeping time. Trains had made obsolete the old system where major cities and regions set clocks according to local astronomical conditions. Fleming advocated the adoption of a standard or mean time and hourly variations from that according to established time zones. He was instrumental in convening an International Prime Meridian Conference in Washington in 1884 at which the system of international standard time — still in use today — was adopted.”

In 1918, the U.S. Congress made the U.S. rail zones official under federal law and gave the responsibility to make any changes to the Interstate Commerce Commission, the only federal transportation regulatory agency at the time. When Congress created the Department of Transportation in 1966, it transferred the responsibility for the time laws to the new department.

The American law by which we turn our clock forward in the spring and back in the fall is known as the Uniform Time Act of 1966. The law does not require that anyone observe Daylight Saving Time; all the law says is that if we are going to observe Daylight Saving Time, it must be done uniformly.

Daylight Saving Time has been around for most of this century and even earlier.

Benjamin Franklin, while a minister to France, first suggested the idea in an essay titled “An Economical Project for Diminishing the Cost of Light.”

Time in the physical sense is a measurement. Manipulating a measurement is slightly arrogant. The idea that we humans can alter the laws of Physics or control the Sun borders on the absurd. It’s just about as silly as us thinking we can control the weather. (Although there is evidence that scientific technology exists and is being tested to “create” weather and geological events, and not necessarily to the benefit of the human population at large).

So “Spring Forward, Fall Back” is an annual ritual in the U.S. – and other countries – that allows us the illusion that we are in control of natural forces and Physics Principles.

Personally, I think this is more a reflection of how far removed we live from Nature. “Nature” is not something that we live isolated from, try as some of us may. Whether we acknowledge it or not, we humans exist in Nature. We are part of an eco-system, an environment called Planet Earth.

Grandmother Pa’Risha has often shared how traditional Indigenous Peoples live connected to the Earth and Nature. What may be surprising to some is that Indigenous Cultures possess the wisdom of science, mathematics, physics, etc. Understanding and living in harmony with the planet’s natural forces to hunt, raise crops, build many of the “natural wonders” of the world and live in abundance is a part of their Being. They understand and live as the Wheel of Life.

The further we grow away from our connection to nature, the natural forces and Principles through “civilization” we dull our senses and greatly curtail our quality of life. It’s a contradiction that is daunting. As we strive to improve the quality of life through technology, inventions and gadgets; the more we attempt to live by “convenience” and “comfort” – manipulating our environment, or even Time itself, the more we actually lose one of the greatest opportunities of Life itself – Living in Harmony with Creation.

Our time here affords us the opportunity to explore, know and celebrate the Mystery as One with Creation. We need to open ourselves to our connection with Nature, not isolate ourselves from it.

“Be in Nature, stay in harmony with Nature, it is you…Learn of Nature, then understand yourself!” Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha

As has been evidenced by the devastating earthquake in Japan this week, there is no escaping the forces of Nature. But when we open ourselves to communicating with and being communicated to we can learn to hear her “messages” and have a greater awareness of when the Earth is clearing itself. With that knowledge we can live like the Indigenous Peoples still living traditionally around the world who, like the animals, birds, and fish, know when the Earth is relieving her stress through earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunamis or whatever and move to higher ground.

-Deborah Adler

“If you have your attention on what is see its fullness in every moment you will discover the dance of the divine in every leaf in every petal in every blade of grass in every rainbow in every rushing stream in every breath of every living being. …beyond memory and judgment lies the ocean of universal consciousness.”— Deepak Chopra


©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: All quotes remain the sole property of the original authors.)

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As the Mystery of Life Unfolds

12 Mar

As the Mystery of Life unfolds

We are the Creators/Observers of its Magnificence.

Sometimes the Natural Forces appear daunting

But then we realize that we are those Forces.

Where do I begin and you end?

Where does the air of the mountain divide

from the air of the plain?

How can we not see ourselves in Everyone

and everything around us…

For we are “Of God”

One with the All That Is,

We are Creator and Co-Creator.

We are the Mystery

and that which Observes

Itself.

-Deborah Adler

“Each of us is here to discover our true selves; that essentially we are spiritual beings who have taken manifestation in physical form; that we’re not human beings that have occasional spiritual experiences, that we’re spiritual beings that have occasional human experiences” –Deepak Chopra

“All around you no matter where you are is opportunity. You decide its potential and outcome. You are the co-creators. Make a life worthy of all the gifts we are. Love from a place empty of fear. Live in eternal celebration of being chosen for this world and life, and if we manage well, we will dwell in its glory and beauty again.” -Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha


©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: All quotes remain the sole property of the original authors.)

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Life as a Paradox

11 Mar

Definition: “something (such as a situation) that is made up of two opposite things and that seems impossible but is actually true or possible.”

I’m studying the Tao Te Ching. There are 81 verses. It’s possible to spend a lifetime studying these verses, which for the most part don’t have even twenty lines to them – but boy, do they nail Truth.

Of course, I can’t really explain what I’m reading, but when I read it there’s an innate recognition – I feel an “Ah-hah.” Somewhere deep in my Being, I recognize Mystery.

Paradox.  Know it, but can’t explain it. Recognize it, but never saw it before. I do know that when it starts talking about the Master Teacher, I recognize my spiritual mentor and Elder of 25 years, Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha. It’s uncanny.

It seems the more we seek something the more it eludes us – whether it be prosperity, position, relationship – whatever. Perhaps it has to do with the Principle of Attraction.

When we concentrate our thoughts on what we don’t have – our focus is on what we lack. We give so much attention to that that we end up creating more lack.

Even when we’re carefully crafting goals in totally positive terms, if we’re concentrating on creating results, we are probably blocking our own success. We’ve become accustomed to plotting out the course to our goals. Quantum Physics tells us if we clearly define our beginning point and end point, the Universe will fill in the details. Another paradox.

“The Master leads

by emptying people’s minds

and filling their cores

by weakening their ambitions

and toughening their resolves…”*

There’s an old Chinese proverb about a Teacher and student. The teacher starts pouring tea into the student’s cup but continues pouring even as the tea overflows and pours all over the table. When the student questions why, the Teacher responds that the student’s mind is like the full cup of tea. The student has come to the Teacher pretty full of himself. Only when the student would be willing to let go of what he thought he knew, i.e. empty his mind, would the Teacher be able to work with him.

Recovery from addiction is a lot like that. We tend to walk in thinking we know what we need to do to “beat this thing” – and slowly we learn from the shared experiences of others present that in order to triumph over our addiction we need to “surrender,” form a partnership with the God of our understanding, and empty out what we think we know so we can really learn.

Another Paradox.

If my best thinking got me in a place of dire straights, it’s highly likely that only by building my core values will I transcend my predicament. Empty out in order to receive.

My ambition in life might be to rise to a particular position or status or income level – whatever – but only when I resolve to live a life of service will I achieve all that I want through helping others.

That’s not my wisdom. I’ve been hearing it from my Elder for 25 years, only to be reinforced in recovery rooms, by inspirational speakers and business motivators.

Now I’m reading it in the Tao.

I guess when we finally quit complicating life we find the simple solutions. If you find yourself thinking about something, “It can’t be that simple!” – you probably need an Ego check. Lose your self-importance and gain Wisdom.

Another Paradox…. 🙂

“The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.” –Oprah Winfrey

“Allow each second of your time to be filled with a kindness to all and include yourself!” -Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha

-Deborah Adler

*Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu

©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: All quotes remain the sole property of the original authors.)

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Letting Go to Allow the Flow

8 Mar

“Holding on to anything is like holding on to your breath. You will suffocate. The only way to get anything in the physical universe is by letting go of it. Let go & it will be yours forever.” -Deepak Chopra

I spent some time with a friend tonight who is fearful of losing his job. The details aren’t really important. What really matters is that he’s convinced that his Union is going to have him canned. He was talking about moving to …somewhere else…to start over again…somewhere where no one knew him.

I shared with him that in 12-Step rooms we often talk about the problem with running away is that you take yourself with you. “Geographical cures” may seem desirable, but they’re totally ineffective.

More than one person tried to remind him that sometimes Life has a way of closing a door for us that we weren’t able – or willing – to close for ourselves.

He couldn’t really hear any of it. He was too committed to his fear. In his mind, a determination has already been made. He’s already packed his bags – in more ways than one.

Active addicts – and some recovering ones, too – know all about running. We also know the futility of trying to hang onto something, or someone or trying to control an outcome through manipulation or deceit. “Resistance,” as the Borg of Star Trek would say, “is futile.”

But the futility comes from the paradox of life that you can only keep something by giving it away. No matter how adept one is at “creating their day” or mapping out their life, at some point there is a handing over to God-Creator-The Source for the ultimate unfoldment.

In my experience, God-Creator-The Source has always delivered a much more magnificent outcome than I could have imagined. Of course, that would be from the “hind-sight is 20-20” perspective, but even so, when I can remember I’m working in partnership with the God of my understanding, I can “let go” of the results and appreciate the journey.

The flow of energy can only happen through a clear pathway. If we try to contain it, we stop it – like a giant circuit-breaker. Whether it’s a job, a relationship, money…if we allow for a flow of energy, a freedom, we create the pathway for it to return to us. If it doesn’t, it wasn’t ours to begin with.

“Generosity is the outcome of faith.  Give and you will receive.  Give how you want to receive.  Generosity heals poverty.  Generosity helps us to be free of material attachments that we will never own.  They own us; they do not serve us.  We serve them.  Give when you have very little for yourself, or you will never be free.  Non-attachment does not mean you need to live in poverty.  It guarantees wealth.” – Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha*

*Follow the Question Inward ©  1994 Pa’Ris’Ha  © Copyright 2007 Parisha Online. All Rights Reserved.

-Deborah Adler

©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: All quotes remain the sole property of the original authors.)

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For the Love of Winter

7 Mar

I love Winter.

Many people have screen shots of tropical beaches on their computers. I have a beautiful winter scene of a snow covered hillside populated with tall pines trees. The virgin snow glistens in the sunlight and sits piled on the branches. There’s even pockets of deeper blue snow created by the shade. All is part of the “mystique” of snow for me. I drink that picture in every time I see it.

I lived in several different log cabins over the years in a rural setting with some close friends. One of the gifts of living there was walking up the hill to the far cabin from the main lodge late at night after (or during) a snowfall.

There is nothing, to me, more exhilarating than the smell of the crisp air when the temperatures are in the low twenties or teens. There’s a clean smell that’s positively unique, like ozone. There’s a bite in the air that almost forces its way into your lungs.

To me, it’s invigorating. I’ve always found the cold temperatures refreshing. I love it!

There’s a stark beauty to a snow-covered hillside that transcends the bite of the cold. Even cities look cleaner under a fresh blanket of white!

I love standing in the snow and holding my tongue out to catch snow flakes!

Snow brings the kid out in me. When it starts snowing while I’m at work, and others start complaining, I look out and smile. “I love the snow,” I declare and they scowl and leave with their food and their unhappiness intact. I don’t let it touch me – I get the same feeling of magic looking out that window at the snow as I do looking at one of those little “snow globes” you can get with figures or scenes in them that “snow” when you turn them upside down and then right them. I have one on my desk with a snowman and a pine tree decorated for Christmas.

We live in Nature. When we try to change it, manipulate it, destroy it, isolate ourselves from it, we are harming ourselves as well. We’re in denial.

“I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe.” –Dalai Lama

We are One with Creation. When we seek to live in harmony with it, appreciating it in all its forms, we open ourselves to “living in the miracle.”  Living in appreciation far exceeds living in denial or condemnation.

Kids splash in rain puddles, build snowmen/women 🙂 and lay down in the snow to make “snow-angels.” When “inclement” weather happens, let the little kid out in you – go PLAY!

🙂 Deborah Adler

“Creator’s love for Man is not easily described. To live fully in Joy, is Creator’s plan for us…. We talk to all of nature and it talks back to us! The Earth speaks to us; we lie down and embrace her grasses and soil. Her smell when the rain comes is intoxicating! Rain, Sun, Forest, relations, all are a part of us. Heavens reflect us and all of creation is us. How do we not know joy!” -Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha from To Live Fully in Joy

 

To Live Fully in Joy ©2008 Pa’Ris’Ha. All Rights Reserved. © Copyright 2007 Parisha Online. All Rights Reserved.

©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: All quotes remain the sole property of the original authors.)

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